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Author Miralee Ferrell & The Break-Through Spirit

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 31, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 31, 2011

My guest today is Author Miralee Ferrell. She shares how God led her and her dh through a difficult period. And some about her new book, Love Finds You in Tombstone, Arizona!

A number of years ago our family hit a very hard place financially, just like my heroine Christy Grey did in my recent book. Her home and family were in jeopardy and she went through a lot of stress before she finally realized her hope came from the Lord, not from what she could provide. Sometimes we have to come to a place of total release before we’re able to see the mighty hand of God work on our behalf.

My husband Allen and I were in trouble and we knew it, but nothing seemed to be working. We’d hit a lot of financial hurdles in the past few years, but this one brought its own truck load of stress and it felt like we were about to be buried under it.

We’d had our house on the market three different times over the past four years, with no success. We weren’t sure we could hold on much longer as our business was struggling in an economy that had flattened. Housing sales were beginning to strengthen, but ours hadn’t attracted much attention, even with major renovations to the house and its location on thirty beautiful acres.

I was nearing desperation and made the commitment to pray until I sensed a break-through in my spirit. Allen and I also decided to give a generous “break-through” offering that we couldn’t afford, following the scriptural principal of giving over and above our tithes, and asking that the windows of heaven would be opened for us. We prayed about our gift and felt the Lord directing us in the amount as well as the recipient.

Two weeks passed and we continued to press into the Lord, asking Him to provide a buyer. One evening I hit a low, something very unusual for me, and began to cry out to God, asking for mercy and hope.

I began to praise Him and then settled into a time of listening with my spirit….then heard, very softly the following words… “It’ll be sold in one week”…  What? Could I have heard the Lord? I’d heard His voice many times in the past, but this seemed too good to be true. One week? We didn’t even have anyone looking. Maybe He meant that within a week, someone would view it, and we’d start the process…Maybe…a ton of scenarios flooded my mind but that voice persisted…One week.

Two days later a friend called. Their relatives were flying in and looking for a house…he believed our place in the country was just what they wanted, could they come in two days? Of course, I replied. Husband and wife, semi-retired, spent several hours walking the property and talking, then returned for another visit the following day. That evening, they called with an offer and the next day we signed earnest money papers. A total of six days had passed from the time the Lord spoke. Our long wait had finally ended, our place closed on schedule, and God opened doors of possibility from that sale that we’d never imagined….but that’s an entirely new story!

Book Summary:
Love and second chances aren’t easy to come by in a town named Tombstone. When Christy Grey receives an urgent summons to Tombstone, Arizona, she reluctantly leaves her new life in California. The trip goes from bad to worse when four masked men hold up Christy’s stage. She finally arrives in
Tombstone to find her mother ill and her brother trapped in a life of gambling. Desperate for money to support her family, will Christy bow to pressure from the local saloon owners and return to the life she thought she’d given up for good?

Nevada King has problems of his own. He’s been dodging bullets for years and wants nothing more than to settle down and get married. But he’s on the run from outlaws bent on revenge, and the one woman who captures his interest recognizes him from the stagecoach holdup. Will Christy turn Nevada in to the authorities, or will the outlaws on his trail catch him first?

Miralee Ferrell is multi-published author with two contemporary women’s fiction and three historical romance, with a sixth book releasing August 1, 2011. She serves as president of the Portland, Oregon, chapter of American Christian Fiction Writers and belongs to a number of writer’s groups. She also speaks at women’s groups, libraries, and churches about her writing journey. Miralee and her husband Allen have been married 38 yrs. They live on 11 acres in the beautiful Columbia River Gorge in southern Washington State, where they love to garden, play with their dogs, take walks, and go sailing. Miralee also rides her horse on the wooded trails near their home with her grown daughter who lives nearby.

You can find out more about her and her work at her web site or blog:

Web Site: http://www.miraleeferrell.com
Blog: http://www.miraleesdesk.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/miralee
Love Finds You in Bridal Veil, OR, 4 ½ stars and Top Pick Romantic Times
Finding Jeena, Kregel Publications
Love Finds You in Tombstone, AZ, Summerside Press, 4 ½ Stars

Miralee certainly tested God just like Gideon. But did she really test God or her trust in him?–Lyn

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged American Historical Romance | 17 Replies

Chapter Eighteen Scene 1 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 30, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 29, 2011

If you’ve just discovered this free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

2011 Copyright Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Eighteen  Scene 1

Christiane wonered how she was going to survive this day, her first full day at Valley Forge.

“Christiane,” Henry said, gently holding her hand. “I missed you so much and I am glad to have you back, but I wish you had not traveled alone from Philadelphia.” Finished with breakfast, they sat alone at the long dining table.

“I understand, Henry, but there was no possible way that you could come to an enemy-held city. The Richardsons’ friends were very good to let me travel with them as far as Philadelphia. I was alone only the last day and I was very careful.” Each calmly spoken was a penance and a knife thrust. “As it was, I hardly saw a living soul.”

She was lying and hated herself for it. But she hated herself even more for other secrets that her fiancé must never know. To explain her inconsistencies, she had created imaginary travelling companions, and had credited the Richardsons with her new riding habit and mount. Each moment spent here with Henry holding her hand tightened her agony.

“You will never travel alone again. I will see to it myself.” He tenderly kissed her hand, making her writhe with guilt. I was made a fool.

Breaking through an honest tear slipped out of her eye.

“Christiane, why a tear?” he asked softly.

“I missed you,” she said simply. And it was not totally a lie. Without being aware of it, she had missed him. Henry Lee would never deceive a woman as she had been deceived. The breach could not be mended; more tears dripped down her cheeks, chapped from her cold ride yesterday.

Through her tear-filled lashes, she studied Henry. He had light sandy brown hair which tended to wave even though it was pulled back severely into a tail. His rich hazel-brown eyes returned her gaze. This man was handsome, courageous, and so in love with her. She felt deep respect and affection for him. Why couldn’t she return his love? More tears slipped out, but she drew in a deep breath and quelled them. He would never know of her past shame. There would never be a future one.

She had purposefully come down as late as possible to avoid everyone, especially him. How like the  general to include Henry at his table now that she had returned. Now Henry kissed her forehead and left.

She sipped her cold tea listlessly. She dearly wished she could return to her room, pull the covers over her head, and spend the day weeping. Instead she must go about her day with her role of happily engaged woman clearly in mind or all would be lost.

A note lay open beside her plate. It read: “Dear Mrs. Kruger, Join us in the front parlor this morning, if you please. We ladies of Valley Forge would like to meet you. We are sewing for the soldiers and rolling bandages. Yours faithfully, Mrs. Nathaniel Greene.” She had no fears about acceptance by the “ladies of Valley Forge.” Her association with Mrs. Washington and her engagement assured her position. But to be forced to make polite conversation today, a crucifixion of her heart.

Rising, she left the table and climbed the steps to her room. For a long time she stood looking out her frosted window. To blot out any thoughts of warm Bermuda days, she concentrated on the scene below, her second winter quarters. Men, wrapped in blankets, stood around fires. Some farther on seemed to be practicing some sort of drill very badly. A frozen river shone in the distance. Primitive log cabins stretched in all directions.

Stumps, protruding from the snow, showed where the logs had come from. Here and there a woman or child was seen. “Thank God,” she whispered, “Tildy and her children are safe near Boston.” And Jean Claude was still comfortable at the Richardsons. She must write to them soon. Her heart ached with physical pain as she thought of spending another winter parted from her child. Circumstances and now her own recklessness kept them apart. How would she regain him?

She had overdramatized the Richardsons’ reaction to her marrying and taking her son with her. They would have grieved, but they would have survived. How painfully foolish she had been. Shamed. Deceived. Heartbroken. And no one must ever know. She still had difficulty believing that John had meant to hurt her. But the more she thought of it, the surer she was that she had been deceived on some level.

Her rampant emotions threatened to overtake her again, so she quickly picked up her sewing basket and went to join the ladies, hoping they would distract her–if only her self control didn’t desert her.

#

Later responding to Christiane’s “Enter,” the petite chambermaid opened the door and stepped in. “Mrs. Kruger? It is only quarter of an hour before dinner. The dinner starts the New Year’s Eve celebration. I come to help you dress, if you please.” The girl stood expectantly.

The New Year’s Eve celebration, Christiane sighed to herself. “I’ll change dresses,” Christiane said simply when she could think of no excuse. The little maid helped her out of the brown plaid and into her green wool, part of the clothing she’d left her pending her return. “You can tell them that I will be down directly,” Christiane instructed; the girl bobbed and departed. Christiane took a few moments to rearrange and smooth her hair. Carefully she pulled out the garnet ring on the chain so it would be visible. The mirror reflected the burning candle and she stared at her own image.

For a brief moment another image haunted her. Her hair was piled high and pearls hugged her neck. He was behind her, kissing her bare shoulder. Her skin recalled the touch of his lips. Spinning around, Christiane snuffed the candle and quickly let herself out of the room. Down the hall and stairs to the dining room, she sped.

She entered the room. As though ordered to rise, all the men stood and all the women turned to look at her. “Christiane,” General Washington greeted her warmly. He turned to her fiancé. “Mr. Lee, as usual Christiane will act as my hostess in Mrs. Washington’s absence but, of course, you must take her other side.” He guided the two of them to their seats and the others automatically found their chairs and stood behind them. “Christiane, before we sit may I introduce you to a new member of our staff, Baron Von Steuben?” He motioned to a short, round, gray-haired man directly across from her. “Baron,” he said, “Mrs. Christiane Kruger.”

Christiane intended to curtsey where she was, but the rotund man bustled around the table formally kissed her hand and clicked his heels. “Enchante, madame,” he said firmly with a thick German accent.

“He speaks no English, only Prussian and French,” Henry murmured in her ear.

“Enchante, baron,” Christiane replied smilingly. In spite of her somber mood something in his manner caught her interest.

After the baron took his place again, General Washington bowed his head and said, “Let us give thanks. Heavenly Father, thank you for the bounty here provided. Bless this evening and the new year which starts tonight. You know best the longing of our hearts–freedom for this beautiful land. Amen.”

Everyone sat and a cheerful babble broke out up and down the long table. The longing of our hearts lingered in her mind as Christiane carefully put on her smile and looked around. She did not want to admit even to herself what the longing of her heart was, so she concentrated on those around her.

Though the ladies present wore outfits that were not lavish, she could tell that they had all turned out in their best. The officer-husbands were in their uniforms, brushed and polished. Her mind wandered to the lavish ball that must be taking place tonight in Philadelphia at Smith’s Tavern. There would be the breath-taking clothing, dancing, and sumptuous food and would the major make an appearance? A tight clamp squeezed her heart. Forcing her mind onto this room alone, she sipped the home-brewed concord wine.

The candles glowed on the table and on the wall sconces and a comfortable fire crackled nearby. The homey atmosphere should have been a balm to her jagged spirits. The  baron smiled at Christiane and she asked, “How do you come to be with us,  baron?”

One has to give Christiane points for courage and endurance.–Lyn
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Chapter Seventeen Scene 4 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 27, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 18, 2011

If you’ve just discovered my free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

2011 Copyright Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Seventeen Scene 4

Colonel Mensing droned on, oblivious to the major’s irritation. Major Eastham shifted in his seat and glanced again at the tall clock at the end of the room. 4:45 p.m. Soon candles would have to be lit. He had been sitting, standing, speaking, and listening in this room since early morning. The weight of a letter in his inside coat pocket kept reminding him that this would be last interminable meeting for him, but that was no consolation right now. He wanted to be in his room, holding Christiane.

A tap at the door startled them all. The sergeant at the door opened it cautiously, then turned back. “Begging your pardon, my lords. Major Eastham’s man wants to see his lordship on an urgent matter.”

All heads turned to the major as he rose and walked to the door. Outside Eastham closed the door behind him, nodded to the sergeant, and led Alfred a little way down the hall. “What is it?”

“I apologize, my lord,” Alfred whispered with his head down.”But I have waited and waited for your meeting to end and I finally decided that I must interrupt you. It is Madame Belmond. She has disappeared.”

“What?”  Ice flooded John’s stomach.

“She went riding this morning and hasn’t returned, my lord.”

“I saw her leave, but that was this morning, hours ago.” What had happened to her? His mind whirled with dreadful possibilities.

“I know, my lord. When she did not return to lunch, as she said she would, I went looking for her. When she was not back by two, I went out riding myself, looking for her. I had no luck, sir. Then,” the valet paused and looked up at his master, “I came back to the room to see if she had left any clue there as to where she was going. I found these under the paperweight on your desk.” He held up the two notes. “One is addressed to you and one to Lord Hazelton.” Their eyes met.

John stared at the two notes and then quietly unsealed the one for him with fingers that trembled. As he read and then re-read the note, the familiar, horrible icy flow that he had experienced before Christiane’s love steadily reclaimed him. “She has left me,” he said, low and gruff. He turned back to the room and entered quietly.

Again all eyes turned to him.

“Major,” Howe said, “we are just about to adjourn.”

“A moment, general,” he answered, steeling himself to do what he must do. He turned to the newcomer near the head of the table. “Lt. Beckett, I believe that your revolutionary name is Hansen?”

“Yes.”

“I have just received a farewell note from Madame Christiane Belmond.”

There were looks exchanged up and down the length of the table.

John ignored them. “She closes with a brief message for you, ‘Please inform Captain Hansen that I would hate to attend his hanging, but I will if he returns to Valley Forge, whatever the personal cost to me. Ask him if he knows Christiane Kruger.'”

A shocked silence followed his reading.

Finally General Howe spoke, “May I see that, major?”

“I would rather not, sir. The main part of the note is personal.”

“There is nothing else that is pertinent? I have your word as a gentleman?”

“You do, sir.”

“Very well.” The general turned to the young agent. “Can you shed any light on this, Beckett? Do you know this Christiane Kruger?”

“Of course. Everyone at Washington’s headquarters knows her. Who is Christiane Belmond?”

Howe answered, “She has been associated with Major Eastham this month.” His intonation left little doubt as to the type of association. “Now again who is Christiane Kruger?”

“Well, sir,” the spy began, “she has many roles. She does many duties at Washington’s headquarters, household managing, French translation. When Mrs. Washington is away at Mt. Vernon, she acts as the general’s hostess. When Mrs. Washington visits, she acts as her companion and social secretary.”

Another round of unbelieving silence ensued.

“Am I to understand that Mrs. Kruger has been here and has used the name of Belmond?” the spy asked.

“That seems to be the case,” Howe replied. “Major, would you read us the line again?”

John complied woodenly.

“This is preposterous,” Lord Hazelton objected finally.

Without speaking, the major handed him his note. The older officer read his own in obvious disbelief.

“I don’t wish to intrude,” General Howe broke in, “but does your note shed any more light?”

“Not very much. She does say that she is innocent of any intrigue.”

“Major Eastham, I apologize for having to ask you this, but I am sure you understand my position. Is that correct?” Howe pursued. “Did Madame Belmond at any time try to use your association to gain military information?”

“No, general, on my honor as a gentleman, never at any time did we discuss military subjects.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Colonel Mensing said in a low voice.

“Would you care to repeat that, sir?” John said menacingly. His tone promised the challenge of a duel at the merest hint of further accusation.

Mensing pursed his lips.

The general went on, “I don’t understand then. Why was she here? It makes no sense.”

“She left Washington a few weeks after Germantown to visit her infant son somewhere in New Jersey,” Beckett said.

“That is what she told me also,” the major said grudgingly. “And if you remember, this all began when she was detained by sentries.”

Beckett continued, “No exact date was given for her return, but according to what has just been said here, she must have been intercepted enroute to Valley Forge. We did expect her to come back sometime before Mrs. Washington arrived.”

“Evidently that is true and she had returned today,” Howe said matter-of-factly. He turned to Eastham. “You hadn’t quarreled?”

“No, general,” he murmured.

“Then we must assume that she saw Beckett and feared exposure and a charge of espionage, so she fled. Under these circumstances and to prevent scurrilous gossip, I believe I will have to read both letters.” He put out his hand. Both Eastham and Hazelton gave him the notes reluctantly. The general read them quickly and looked up at the assembled men. “There is no hint of intrigue in either letter. Major, no doubt Madame Belmond feared for you also. Matters, of course, would have had to be handled differently if she were still here. There would have had to have been a formal military inquiry. Now it seems pointless.” He handed back the notes. “I am sorry, major,” Howe said genuinely.

Eastham nodded stiffly.

“I just cannot believe this all happened,” Lord Hazelton put in.

Mensing gave a look that said he believed it and more, but he carefully said nothing.

“It would seem that your usefulness as an agent has ended, Lieutenant Beckett,” Howe observed. “You will be re-assigned to more mundane duties, I’m afraid. And, unless anyone has anything further to offer, we will adjourn. I, for one, am sick of this room.”

Men stood and began to move about. They cast looks at Eastham, but held their tongues.

“I beg your pardon, Major Eastham,” Beckett said brashly as he stepped quickly over to catch the officer before he left. “I do not wish to be impertinent, but from your exchanges with the general may I assume that your relationship with Mrs. Kruger was more than just friendship?”

“She was his mistress,” Mensing could not resist saying.

Eastham and Mensing eyed each other with mutual distaste.

“May I congratulate you then, sir?”

“I don’t understand, Lieutenant,” John replied. He only wanted to escape this awful room.

“You, an English gentleman, have succeeded where no colonial has. Every officer in the Continental Army has thought of trying his hand at seducing the beautiful Mrs. Kruger and all failed. Why it was even rumored that the Marquis de Lafayette tried and failed. She evidently was playing her cards very carefully. Her first husband was a mere corporal, a farmer from the frontier, if you can believe that. Anyway just before she left, she became engaged to one of Washington’s captains, Henry Lee of the Virginia Lees. Quite a catch. I would love to tell him how his intended has whiled away her December.”

The major fixed his eye on the young spy. “You are impertinent, sir.” With that he left without further comment to anyone.

Hazelton approached the enthusiastic lieutenant. “Did you try your hand with Christiane?”

“Of course.”

“Then it seems that some English officers are more successful than others,” Hazelton said acidly left also.

When the major arrived at his room, Alfred was waiting anxiously, but all he said was, “Will you want your tea now, my lord?”

John rested his hand on his servant’s shoulder. “Not now. Go and have yours.”

Alfred searched his lord’s face. He read there a desire to be alone, so he left quickly.

John went to stand by the fire. His mind was a tangle of thoughts and feelings. He could almost understand her leaving in light of Beckett’s arrival. But it demonstrated a complete lack of trust in him on her part. It was inconceivable that she could distrust him so completely, but it must be true. She had left. He read once more her note. It simply made no sense.

What facts had caused her to distrust him? His head ached and he felt physically miserable. The worst part was that he could not go to her or even communicate with her. She was the enemy and at the very seat of the rebellion. The thought that he might have put his trust in the wrong person chilled him. Slowly he pulled out the letter of resignation from his inner pocket and dropped it into the flames. Someday, he promised himself, I will ask her what I am guilty of.

#

Miles from Philadelphia, Christiane sat in her bed in her room at the headquarters. It was larger than her room at Morristown and had its own fire. She had snuffed out her bedside candle and now pensively watched the flames on the hearth. The warm fire, a nourishing supper, and two glasses of port had calmed her, but the thoughts and feelings she had avoided all day were closing in on her now. Tears slid unheeded out of her eyes and down her face. Could I have really been duped so completely?
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Author Lynette Eason & The Arms of God

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 26, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 26, 2011

My guest today is Author Lynette Eason who has a story of crisis to relate. Here’s Lynette:

“Having strength when times are good is not such a hard thing. Finding it when things go south—is. A little over 12 years ago, when my daughter was about two months old, I found a lump in my throat. On my thyroid actually. I had it checked repeatedly and we watched it grow. The doctors finally decided to do a biopsy. The results came back as “suspicious cells”. Which meant, it could be cancer. But they weren’t sure. But I would have surgery to remove the lump. As you can imagine this was a VERY hard thing to hear. And I was dealing with it all alone. My mother-in-law had gone with me for the procedure. But my parents were out of town, my husband was out of town and I felt so ALONE.

After much angst and prayer, I finally made the decision: God was in control. I stood over my daughter’s crib, watching her sleep, praying I would have the opportunity to watch her grow up. That night as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, praying, I felt a pair of arms slip around me. I don’t know how else to describe it. I was all alone—but I wasn’t.  In my distress, my Lord came to comfort me. I KNEW he was there. All worry fell away and I went to sleep, waking only when my daughter needed to be fed. I’ve never forgotten that moment when I felt the arms of God around me. It was amazing and indescribable. And the lump was benign, praise God.

Unfortunately, my heroine in A KILLER AMONG US, doesn’t have this comfort when her world gets rocked by her father’s deathbed confession. She’s adopted and has a birth family out there. Stunned, she allows bitterness and anger to take over as she leaves her home to search out her “real family”, to find where she belongs. Ultimately, with the hero’s help, she finds out that belonging to Christ is the most important thing, that this world is just our temporary home.

I always love to hear from my readers! You can find me online:

www.lynetteeason.com

www.twitter.com/lynetteeason

www.infinitesuspensefromlynetteeason.blogspot.com

www.ladiesofsuspense.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/lynetteeasonauthor

Lynette, so glad that the lump was benign. I’ve been hypothyroid most of my adult life. So far no lumps, however. Thanks for sharing how God comforted you. Do any of you have a time when you felt the “arms of God?”

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Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged suspense | 6 Replies

Chapter Seventeen Scene 3 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 25, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 18, 2011

If you’ve just discovered my free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

2011 Copyright Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Seventeen Scene 3

The stranger slid from the saddle and looked around uncertainly. One of the grooms approached. The man questioned him. The groom called to a junior officer on the porch below.

While the groom led the horse away to the nearby stable, the young officer saluted the stranger and they exchanged words. The two men turned and the young officer motioned toward the house to the windows above her. The stranger looked up then, giving her a clear look at his face. She gasped. This man was no stranger. Captain Hansen! She knew him well as his liaison duties often brought him to Washington’s headquarters.

The meeting, the important meeting, upstairs. She gasped again and her mind raced. She had to be sure it was he and that he was bound for the meeting. The two men headed toward the main entrance. If he were going up to the floor above to the meeting, he would go via the front staircase. She halted. If it were Hansen, he might identify her as easily as she had recognized him.

Quickly she drew the hooded cape around her, tying it at the neck and deftly arranging her hood. She stepped out her door and down the hall to the landing. The two men were almost to the second floor. She paused and watched them. He was the right height and build to be Hansen. As they went by her, she caught another look. It was Hansen–unmistakably. She stood rooted to the spot. Then the two men were gone, up the remaining stair and onto the third floor landing.

She sought the refuge of her own room again. Inside she leaned back against the door as though the world were spinning too fast. Hansen, a spy. She was aghast at his treason, but more horrified by the implications of his appearance here for her. What if he saw her and revealed her true identity? Without a doubt she would be arrested as a spy. The circumstantial evidence of who she was, where she was, and with whom would be too damaging.

The fears that she had had when first arriving in Philadelphia re-attacked in force and made her queasy. Her pulse pounded at her temples. Could she count on John’s protection absolutely now? Even if he did defend her, would it only cast suspicion on him–to have been intimate with a suspected spy? It could destroy his reputation for the rest of his life. I might be imprisoned or even hanged. She stood, wringing her hands helplessly.

Sternly she took hold of herself. She and Hansen must never meet here. For her own protection, for John’s reputation, she must go for now. Mechanically she brought out her new saddlebags. Carefully she packed her things, trying to make them as compact as possible.

Henry’s ring. She must have that if she were going to Valley Forge. She paused. Wouldn’t it be better to go back to the Richardsons? But she had been waylaid by traveling two days alone in the first place. She could reach the Forge before nightfall and suddenly she longed to be among familiar faces, trustworthy hearts. She fumbled in the jewel box atop the dressing table. There was the chaste garnet ring underneath the pearls and emeralds. She stood then, ready to leave. But how could she leave like this? She must leave John some word. He might think she had met with foul play.

Over to the small desk by the window she went. Taking pen in hand, she paused to think.

John,

I have learned facts today that have deeply shaken my confidence in you.

I can only hope that they are untrue.

She was forced to pause. Somehow just writing the words: wife and child would shake her too greatly, they were too hurtful. Besides if he knew her accusation beforehand, he might be able to cover his tracks too well. Should she mention Hansen as her reason for leaving? She chewed her lip. Suddenly it occurred to her that Valley Forge would be safe for her only as long as Hansen were here. If he returned knowing of her lapse of chastity and loyalty–the very idea nauseated her.

More importantly how could she let him continue his treachery now that she knew of it? Innocent lives could be lost and the very outcome of the Revolution compromised. But he would never return if he knew she would identify him as a spy. She looked down at the paper. Quickly she added.

I must leave now. I will try to get word to you. Please inform Captain Hansen that I would hate to attend his hanging, but I will if he returns to Valley Forge–whatever the personal cost to me. Ask him if he knows Christiane Kruger. Goodbye, Christiane

That would do it. Hansen would be foolhardy to return now and she had terminated any possibility of his continued spying or future blackmail.

She felt a hard lump like coal, forming in her stomach. This note burned her bridges just as Washington had during last winter’s retreat. For a few days the chasm between John’s politics and hers had narrowed and now in a matter of hours it was wider than ever.

Another thought halted her. She would hate to leave without saying farewell to Lord Hazelton. A note would have to suffice. The pen poised over the new page. She did not have time to wait for inspiration, so she wrote:

Dear Lord Hazelton,

It grieves me to leave you so abruptly. The situation is too complex to explain. You will always be in my memories. Please do not believe any unkindness about me. I am innocent of any intrigue. Au revoir. Christiane

Quickly she sanded, folded, sealed with wax, and addressed the two papers. Then she tucked both under the large glass paperweight on the major’s desk.

For a moment she scanned the room, the place where she had experienced so much joy. She had planned to leave it on the morrow, but how different was her departure now. So many emotions crowded her heart that she could not sort them out. The meeting would not go on indefinitely. I must make haste or all will be lost.

Closing the door behind her, she tried to make her way to the stable as naturally as possible. Once in the stable she summoned a groom and mounted her new mare. The groom led her out into the yard. She gathered the reins then and cast one final glance at her home for the last month. In the window on the third floor, a man was looking down at her. He waved at her. It was John. She waved in turn. Could she signal him somehow? No, he was too far from her and  her feelings about him were too tangled now.

Penny pulled at the bit impatiently and Christiane left the yard without a backward look. Not wishing to call attention to herself, she moved slowly through the streets, which were still decorated for the Christmas holiday. She bid her mare Nancy a silent farewell as she passed near the widow’s street. Finally she reached the outskirts of Philadelphia. Cunningly she did not increase her speed all at once, but gradually. She had an excellent idea of the position of Valley Forge now and she wanted to avoid roadblocks at all costs. A route over the fields and through the woods would be shorter and safer.

The intervening miles went by without complications. The trim Pennsylvania farms took almost no notice of a lady out riding on the frosty day. Whenever thoughts of what the day had brought forth surfaced, she pushed them to the back of her mind. She could only deal with the journey and the cold for now, nothing more.

It was late afternoon when she finally paused at a farm yard. She could see the main road now. She turned Penny toward it. The road was sure to be in rebel hands this close to the winter quarters. She began, sorting ideas to explain her new horse, new clothes, and her arriving alone, but the anxiety and cold had paralyzed her brain.

Penny, though tired herself, seemed to sense that they were near their destination. Her pace quickened and before long the rebel camp was in sight. Christiane saw the sentry post and slowed the eager mare.

“Halt!. Friend or foe?” the sentry challenged her.

“I am expected at headquarters. I am Lady Washington’s companion.”

“Lady Washington ain’t come yet.”

“I know, but I have.” Suddenly Christiane felt totally exhausted and completely numb with the cold. “Please, private, I am unarmed woman. I am a threat to no one. Please have someone escort me to the general.”

The private looked her over once more. “You escort this here lady to headquarters.”

A gangly frontiersman by his looks, stood up. He had been squatting and warming his hands by a small fire. Not saying a word, he took Penny’s reins and started off. A brisk walk brought them to an imposing brick house. The private handed Christiane the reins and left.

Afraid she might already be frostbitten, she hitched her horse to the post herself and stepped quickly to the dark green door. She clapped the brass knocker resoundingly. The icy winds whipped and flayed her, making her feel naked and battered. A great shiver went through her.

At last the door opened. “Yes?” a large woman asked.

“I am Mrs. Christiane Kruger. I would like to see the general.”

“We weren’t told to expect anyone,” the woman replied cautiously.

Christiane wanted to scream in frustration, but she did not have the strength. A day of emotional turmoil and frigid travel had almost drained her. She made her voice firm, using a precious amount of her energy. “I am expected. The general just did not know exactly when I would arrive. I am Lady Washington’s companion and I am Captain Henry Lee’s fiancée.”

When the woman still did not open the door wider, Christiane pushed her way inside, forcing the woman to step back. “Show me to the general and have someone see to my horse please.” Christiane’s desperate determination won out.

The woman led her to a door nearby. “Mrs. Christiane Kruger,” she announced as she opened the door. Christiane stepped through the door and into the candlelight. The conversations ceased with her entry. The startled men rose automatically. She tossed back her hood and scanned the occupants.

“Christiane?”

She recognized Henry’s voice immediately. She had not expected him to be at headquarters and something in the quality of his exclamation released her emotions.

“Oh, Henry!” she gasped, rushing to his arms. “Oh, Henry.”

“Christiane, how did you get here?”

“Oh, Henry.” She wept. “I’m so terribly cold and tired.” And heartbroken, she longed to add.

General Washington came over. “Captain Lee, please escort Mrs. Kruger to the room at the top of the stairs. It has been waiting for her. I’ll order food and drink to be brought up and you must start her a fire there immediately.”

Christiane looked up as though she were about to speak.

“We will speak later, Christiane,” the general urged. “Go now please. You will feel better if you follow my instructions. Captain, stay with her till the girl arrives.” He urged them out and closed the door behind them.

He wore a thoughtful look as he rang for the housekeeper, but he spoke wryly to mask it, “Gentlemen, always remember: never question a weeping woman. It is always useless and sometimes dangerous.” There was a chuckle over this and then the former conversations resumed.
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Author Carrie Turanksy & Her Brave Daughter

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 24, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 24, 2011

My guest today is Carrie Turansky who also writes for Love Inspired, but she is sharing today about her daughter and her latest book, not a LI. Here’s Carrie:

“One of the strongest and bravest women I know is my daughter, Melissa Morrison. She is very much like my heroine, Jennifer Evans, in my newest novel, Surrendered Hearts. They are both adventurous, artistic, and creative women. Melissa wrote the following blog post soon after arriving in Sudan where she and her husband Peter help oversee a hospital operated by Samaritan’s Purse.

We stepped through the door of the small UN plane and out onto the dirt airstrip. The rush of heat instantly hit my cheeks so intensely it reminded me of opening the oven door mid-cookie-baking to check on the gloriousness. We grabbed our backpacks and jumped in the Land Cruiser. During the ten-minute ride to the compound I couldn’t help but notice the monochromatic landscape. It looked like a rocky Sahara, just dust and sand everywhere.

We had arrived in Sudan during the last few weeks of the dry season, the hottest time of year, and the earth all around us seemed to be screaming for water. The only pops of color on the sandy canvas were the women gracefully swaying as they walked down the side of the road swathed head to toe in bright solid colored fabric – turquoise, canary-yellow, red, orange. They reminded me of Indian women in beautiful saris. Occasionally, we would pass a man in his white long flowing jallabia, which looks like a robe and matching white turban.

We pulled into the compound and headed back to what would be our house for the next year to unpack. This is our tukul (pronounced too-kul).


It has mud walls, cement floor, and a straw roof. It is one large room with an adjoining porch area. I have found over the past couple moves that it really help to make our house or room (whether it is a mud hut, army tent, or cement room) into a space that is a place of beauty and rest. You may get sweaty and dirty and fight battles all day, but if you can come home to your peaceful space it changes everything. My mother passed on the aesthetics gene to me, which basically means that it really affects my mood if the curtains clash with the bedspread. I cannot just cut the vegetables and put them on the table. I have to arrange them in a way that is beautiful. So in my 20-kg allotment of luggage, I sacrificed some clothes to instead bring funky Indian fabric, some silk to put on our bed, maps to hang on the wall (to plot future shenanigans), pictures to put around, and a candle that cost something ridiculous like $26 from Anthropologie. So even if you are in a mud hut, dirty and sweaty, if you close your eyes and breathe in deeply you feel like you’re somewhere deeply luxurious. It’s the little things.


That first evening we both got in bed to try to go to sleep. It was only 8:30pm, but we were exhausted. The temperature on our wall clock said 103 degrees. I don’t know if I have ever sweated quite so much doing nothing. Between the heat and our door latch not working and randomly blowing open every few hours promptly scarring us half to death, we didn’t get much sleep. But now a week in I must say I am quite attached. We have a dog named Buddha, a goat named Brutus, and a tukul that while it has walls of mud, also has swatches of silk- what more could a girl want?”–Carrie

To follow Melissa and Peter’s adventures in Sudan, check out her blog:

http://www.musingsandzest.com/

To learn more about Carrie’s books, visit her blog: http://www.carrieturansky.com/

Here’s a summary of SURRENDERED HEARTS:
Jennifer Evan’s life changes forever when a gas pipeline explodes, starting a fire at her apartment. Losing her home and beloved dog are terrible blows, but the ugly scars that cover her arm, neck and shoulder steal her confidence and cause her fiancé to desert her. With her funds depleted and her job on hold, she heads for Vermont where she hopes to reconnect with her brother and find a way to rebuild her shattered life. Bill Morgan, a strong and quiet man whose faith runs deep, challenges her view of God and faith. Will she hold on to the pain of her past, or will she surrender her heart and find the faith and love she seeks?

Thanks, Carrie. You have an amazing daughter, but you knew that! And I’m excited about your new book which is available as an ebook only.  Carrie is going to add a copy of her latest Love Inspired Seeking His Love to my Mega May Basket and she will also include a coupon for Smashwords for a free copy of Surrendered Hearts. Thanks so much, Carrie. Ladies, why not leave a comment encouraging Carrie’s daughter. I’m sure Carrie would pass it on!–Lyn
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Chapter Seventeen Scene 2 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 23, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 18, 2011

If you’ve just discovered this free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

2011 Copyright Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Seventeen Scene 2

“Of course not, Why would he tell her about them?” Alfred answered reproachfully. “Come now and I’ll give you a hand. I won’t be needed here for a few hours.” The door closed behind them.                 For several seconds Christiane was too stunned to feel anything. Then she became aware of the sensation of suffocation. She gasped for breath and realized that, in fact, she had stopped breathing for those few moments. A wife? A daughter? She must have misunderstood them. Must have.

Painstakingly she reviewed the conversation she had heard. Try as hard as she could, she could not devise a different interpretation. If they had been talking about some other major, some other lordship, why had Alfred said he was most pleased? From Alfred’s manner toward her, she knew that her liaison with John had pleased Alfred immensely. He would not care about any other officer’s love interest, only his own lord’s.

She stepped out from the screen and, clenching and unclenching her hand, she paced tensely. If only John were here, but he was in his important meeting on the floor above. How could she broach this subject to him? And whatever his answer, how would she verify it? Just moments before she had been so secure in her trust of him. Now she was staggered. She had to know if this were true. She could go nowhere with him till she knew the truth.

Who could she ask? Not Alfred. He would only want to protect his master. Lord Hazelton? It would put him in an awkward position if it were true. And he might lie to cover another man’s indiscretion or to preserve her feelings. Anyway Hazelton was in the meeting also.

Mrs. Loring? Yes. That woman knew every bit of gossip worth knowing and she had been with General Howe since Boston. Christiane did not wait. Within moments she was rapping at the general’s door.

Mrs. Loring, upon hearing Christiane’s voice, invited her in. “Christiane dear, I did not expect such an early call from you this morning,” the blonde said languidly. Indeed the Sultana was still abed in a luxurious cream, satin negligee. Her long flaxen hair still hung freely around her shoulders. It occurred forcefully to Christiane that, though she knew exactly what she wanted to find out, she had not taken any thought of how to achieve it. The direct approach here was completely out of the question.

“Good morning,” Christiane began, her mind racing ahead trying to form a plan. “I was just out on my way for a ride and I thought I would stop in for a minute. I keep hoping it might warm up a bit more.”

“Dream on, my dear. Winter. I hate it. How you can enjoy riding in the cold. Not for me. Is your major at that dreary meeting, so hush-hush?”

“Yes,” Christiane answered, still groping. She would have to be bold. Sitting down on the bed beside Mrs. Loring, she turned and said conspiratorially, “May I confide in you?”

A light flashed in the blonde’s eyes. “Of course, my dear, who would you confide in but me?”

“John, Major Eastham, has asked me to go away with him.”

“Really?” Mrs. Loring probed with interest, “Where?”

“The West Indies.”

“The tropics! What a delightful place to spend the winter. If only William could get away. Eastham will resign his commission then?”

“Yes, if I consent.”

“Well, what’s hindering you?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Christiane stood up and turning her back to her companion, walked casually over to the vanity. “I mean–” she kept her voice light, “–a man, with a wife and a child, how generous can he be?” It had come out just right. She had betrayed no concern, not natural to a mistress.

Mrs. Loring chuckled. “Oh, them. William told me all about that in New York. Quite a model of faithfulness was the major till you came along.” The blond turned to flattery. “But how could a man let a woman like you just pass by?”

The blonde’s voice took on a dreamy quality. “That’s what William said to me in Boston when he asked me to come with him. How could a man let a woman like you just pass by?”

While the vain woman lost herself in romantic reverie, Christiane fought for control. She gripped the back of the gilded vanity chair while alternate waves of frost and fire inundated her body. She must get away and think.

She mastered herself. “Then you think I should go?” she asked coolly, surprising herself with her own performance.

“Oh, yes, he is fabulously wealthy. The situation would only be to your advantage. After a while in the Indies, you could always persuade him to take you back to England or better yet France. And he is such an amusing man, isn’t he?”

“Yes, he is. I thank you for your advice. Now I must be off for my ride. I will see you later then?” Christiane continued automatically while her heart still raced.

“Of course, my dear. Good day.”

Christiane let herself out. Her feet took her back to the empty room. Tossing aside her cape, she paced in agitation. Her mind taunted her with the accusation of John’s deception while her heart cried out that it could not be true.

Why hadn’t Lord Hazelton told her the truth? But why would he? He would assume that she was like her mother. Mistresses did not care about wives and children. Hazelton would not suspect that she had desired marriage and that John had promised it. She had heard of sham weddings where a man paid someone to perform a bogus ceremony, but was the major really capable of that? Or had he intended somehow to promise marriage, but to postpone it? Would he have let her teach her son to call him father, only to leave them when he decided to return home? Or had he convinced himself that since she would never be in England with him that an invalid marriage was as good as a valid one in spirit and that he would provide for her in any case?

How did a wife and daughter fit into his life? Why had he been at the fort those years before he came down to enter these hostilities? Did a man with a wife and a child stay away from home for years? A man might if he were desirous to be away from that wife. She knew that most noble marriages were arranged for considerations of money and family connections.

Had any of his story at the inn been true? Had he substituted a dead wife for a very live one that he could not tolerate? Her head hurt from thinking. Her heart was pained by being forced to feel these thoughts. When would the meeting be over and what would she do when it was? She wandered over to her place by the window and stared down. A feeling of being in limbo clutched her. Their carefully laid plans, what would become of them now?

How long she stood there was uncertain. The outdoor scene below her moved through its daily routine while she watched in a trance. Till suddenly something unusual caught her eye. A stranger, tall in the saddle, wearing a brown greatcoat galloped into the yard.
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Chapter Seventeen Scene 1 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 20, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 15, 2011

If you’ve just discovered this free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

2011 Copyright Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Seventeen Scene 1

Christiane stretched and gave an indistinct, “Mmmmm.” The spell wrought by the feather bed and pillows would not quite release her. Then the fact of today’s important sparked her mind. Her eyes flashed open.

John already leaned upon one elbow, observing her. “What startles you, my love?”  He traced her cheekbone lightly with his index finger.

A warm feeling blushed through her. Reaching up, she tangled her fingers in his straight brown locks and pulled his face down to hers. His lips played upon hers and then sought her neck leisurely. “Today is the day, John,” she murmured the thought that had wakened her.

“I know,” he replied. They lay still, letting the importance of the day sink in. After his morning meeting was completed, John would tender his letter of resignation to general Howe himself. They had spent last night, writing it together. Then they would pack, bid Lord Hazelton farewell, and leave for New Jersey. On the way out of town, they would stop at a church and be married. They planned to stay with the Richardsons for the winter and then book passage on a suitable vessel out of New York harbor in the spring. That would give all parties: the old couple, the child and the two of them, time to adjust to the change. Besides sailing on the Atlantic in the winter storms was more than chancy, it could be dangerous.

The British colony at Bermuda would their destination. The rest of their days would be spent in sunshine, love, and warmth. He kissed her again. “My sweet, my heart, my own,” he whispered.

“I love you, John.” Her joy was almost too much to be contained and suddenly she became tremulous.

“No tears, my darling,” he coaxed, “None today. Only happiness for us. Remember?”

She brushed the few tears away. “Yes, I remember.” They pressed their warm bodies close together. She sighed and smiled.

From beyond the drawn bed curtains, they heard Alfred enter and stir the dying fire, making it blaze to temper the chilliness that hung around the feather bed.

Hearing his man leave, John said, Our morning is begun,”

“The first morning of our new life, John?”

“No, the last morning of our old. Tomorrow will be our new beginning.” John kissed her and slid out of the bed to dress in the cold room. “When this day is over, I shall be the happiest man in the known world.”

“And I will be the happiest woman.” The morning routine passed before her eyes in a kind of daze. They breakfasted; he read her the morning news; he dressed. She stayed abed, dreaming of barefoot mornings. Then he leaned over her. “It’s time I go, Slugabed. Are you planning to spend the day ensconced here?” he asked in mock rebuke.

She laughed for indeed they had spent much of the last two days thus. “No, my lord, not all day,” she answered coyly. “I believe I will give Penny a bit of a run.”

“Then I bid you au revoir.” He bent and kissed her hand and left. She heard him whistling as he stepped briskly down the hallway. She grinned.

Contemplating the golden tropical sun had made facing Philadelphia’s frigid, winter sun even more difficult. But it was time to be hardy. And of all days, she wanted this one to go most rapidly of all. Penny needed a good gallop and the day would go more quickly if Christiane busied herself.

Throwing back the covers, she leaped onto the glacial floor and raced to the rug by the fire. Speedily she groomed and dressed herself. John had promised her a maid in the future, but for now she was still on her own. Soon she stood before the full length mirror.

Monsieur Langeaux’s riding habit was a rust-colored velvet with delicate golden embroidery which covered the whole bodice. A matching hooded cape for winter completed the ensemble. Alone she admired her reflection frankly. John had pronounced her a picture in it and she enjoyed his flattery. All these years she realized a part of her had been starved for pretty clothes and loving compliments. Maybe she was no different from her mother or any other woman in this respect.

It would be an interesting question to put to Tildy or  Mrs. Washington. Two women she had counted as friends. Most likely she would never see or communicate with them again. By its very nature, her future could not include them. She felt no qualms about her commitment to John, but doors would close to her. Maybe she was being melodramatic. In the future when the Revolution had been won….her thoughts broke off.

“I’m off to ride, Alfred. I’ll be back for luncheon!” she called.

Outside the front doors the cold air struck her. Instead of daunting her, it invigorated her. Just as she reached the stable door, she looked down at her hands. Her riding gloves, Lord Hazelton’s gift, she had left them up in the room.

Swiftly she returned to the room and began looking for them. She stepped behind the dressing screen to search and she heard Alfred’s interior door open.

A strange voice asked jovially, “So his lordship finally won her over then?” Heavy footsteps headed toward the hallway door.

“Yes,” came Alfred’s cheerful response, “I am most pleased.”

“Well, has the major told her about his wife and daughter in London yet?” The stranger laughed boisterously.

Wife and daughter? Where did they come from?
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Author Jane Kirkpatrick & the Strength of Family in Shaping Our Lives

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 19, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 18, 2011


My guest today is Author Jane Kirkpatrick. Jane’s historical novels portray the lives of real American women, bringing their simple historical facts to life. Jane tells us about two strong women in her latest book and then she shares a humorous family story as we celebrate MEGA May. Jane is also contributing a copy of her latest book to the grand MEGA May basket which someone who leaves a comment this month will receive.
Here’s Jane:

“I’d like to add Clara and Helga Estby to the treasure of strong women that Lyn Cote celebrates, especially in May with Mother’s Day in our memories. Clara and her mother, Helga, accepted a wager in 1896 that if they could WALK from Spokane, Washington to New York City within seven months, they’d earn $10,000, enough to save their family farm from foreclosure.

It was a daring thing to do. Times were tough in 1896 with lots of people out of work, defaults on property happening daily. The Estby’s had hit on hard times, too. With eight children at home (two had already died of various diseases) and the father unable to work due to injury, losing the farm would be disastrous. How would they feed the family? So when the wager came up, sponsored by the fashion industry, Helga convinced her daughter to go with her much to the family’s chagrin. Helga also wanted to prove that women were strong, capable of making good decisions and tending for themselves in challenging environments that might include robbers, railroad bums, bad weather, and the demand to walk nearly 25 miles a day if they were to meet their commitment.

They began with five dollars each carrying maps, a compass; each had a pistol. A lantern offered light and Clara carried a curling iron, too. They followed the railroad tracks and when they reached Salt Lake City they had to don the new reform dress that challenged fashion when modesty required that women’s ankles be covered and corsets worn daily.

The women did indeed arrive in New York City — two weeks late. The wager was lost even though the women accomplished the primary task of walking all that distance. What happened when they returned home added to the strength of these women as their family was so shamed by their publically making this trip that they forbade either woman from ever speaking of the walk again. Even more family challenges awaited them with Clara eventually changing her last name and separating herself from the family for more than twenty years.

That Clara, a woman of faith, eventually reconciled, is another part of the tug and pull of mother and daughter relationships and of the strength of family in shaping our lives.

My novel The Daughter’s Walk explores this mother-daughter journey begun May 5, 1896, a big May Month for the Estbys.

My links are as follows: www.jkbooks.com (website) www.janeswordsofencouragement.blogspot.com (blog) www.bodaciousbothedog.blogspot.com (my dog’s blog. He has more followers than I do); www.theauthorjanekirkpatrick.facebook.com and a video link to a book trailer that is on my website http://www.youtube.com/embed/Pt4ZMRfao_c

Now for Jane’s funny story:

“When my husband required neck surgery at an out of town medical center, we asked my parents and his parents to look after his sometimes troubling sixteen year old son — and the dogs while we were gone. My mom was a retired nurse and my mother-in-law an evangelist who traveled North America in her youth speaking and healing. She was a natural Biblical Concordance. They were lovely people and all four got on well together.

My mom shared this story with me when we got back a week later.

Apparently, after supper one evening, my mom put a red-trimmed plate down for the dogs to lick clean, something we do all the time. My mother-in-law commented. “I know the kids do that but it just doesn’t seem sanitary to me.”

My mom, the nurse told her that so long as the plates were washed in the dish washer she thought it was likely ok.

She went on about her business picking up dishes and getting dessert ready for serving.

When she looked for the dog-licked plate to put it into the dishwasher, she couldn’t find it. Then she remembered she’d put it on the counter planning to put all the dishes in at one time. She still couldn’t find it on the counter. then she looked at the table and saw that my mother-in-law had apparently thought it a clean plate and was happily eating her pie off the plate with it’s pretty red trim.

“What did you say?” I asked my mom.

“Nothing,” she answered. “Some things are better left unsaid.”

Her diplomacy made me laugh and we laughed together, a harmless secret that can now be said as those both of those lovely women are now at “Home.”–Jane

Thanks so much, Jane. Your latest book reminds that while women have always been strong, in the past they had to contend with many more rules and prejudices. Do any of you have family stories where a woman went around the barriers and succeeded?

And have any of you read any of Jane’s books? Let us know or if you’re going to add this one to her TBR (To Be Read) pile. Thanks, Jane!–Lyn

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Chapter Sixteen Scene 4 La Belle Christiane

booksbylyncote.com Posted on May 18, 2011 by Lyn CoteMay 6, 2011

If you’ve just discovered this free read, click Archived Free Read and start at the beginning.

La Belle Christiane

Copyright 2011 by Lyn Cote

All rights reserved

Chapter Sixteen Scene 4

“I have my reasons.” She looked up at him sorrowfully in the dim light. “I have my reasons and none of them have anything to do with you. I mean, I’m not leaving to get away from you.” She cursed herself mentally for speaking so clumsily.

He could not speak. They sat like wooden statues. The courtyard of his quarters was around them then. He climbed out and turned to help her down. He stood a moment holding her hand. “Come with me.” Keeping her hand in his, he led her to the stable, the same one where he had discovered her almost a month before.

She wondered at his purpose, but went obediently. Inside he led her to a stall near the end of the stable. Using a flint, he lit a candle-lantern that hung on the wall. A young sorrel mare looked up at Christiane. “Merry Christmas,” he said tersely.

“What?”

“Penny here is your Christmas present. Since you’re leaving in the morning, you might as well take her. You will need a new mount.”

“Nancy–”

“Nancy will never carry you outside of Philadelphia. Your new side-saddle is hanging there.” He motioned to it. “And Monsieur Lagneaux delivered a riding habit yesterday. So you can go to your ‘old lady’ in style.”

Though he spoke coldly, she knew it was merely a cover and her heart wept for him. “You have done so much for me,” she murmured. “I wish I could give you what you want.”

“There is something you can do for me.”

“What?” She glanced up but couldn’t see his face clearly in the low light.

“Let us go in. We might as well be warm.” He blew out the lantern and led her into the brightly lit house.

Christmas carols were being sung in the front parlor. A harpsichord tinkled gaily in accompaniment. Officers bounced up and down the staircase, calling to one another. Silently the two of them arrived at their room. The glimmer of Christmas spirit that she’d felt had evaporated and numbness had completely overtaken Christiane.
He felt as though ice water had replaced his blood. The shell of stone that he had existed in for over six years was re-asserting itself. No. How could he live that way again?

Maybe for the last time, they sat in their chairs, contemplating the fire. “What can I do?” she asked, not looking at him.

He knew there was something holding her back. More than an old lady drawing her from him. “Tell me the truth. Tell me why you are leaving me.”

“You won’t like it. You don’t want to know,” she responded lifelessly.

“Tell me.” His pulse sped up.

“You will hate me or disrespect me or both.”

“Tell me.”

Abruptly she stood up, turning her back to him. She leaned her head upon her hands against the mantelpiece. “I am engaged to another man.” Her dispassionate tone matched his.

The words nicked his heart.”Do you love him?”

“No.”

Her tone spoke of the truth. “Then I don’t understand.”

“Maybe I don’t love him, but I will in time. He has offered me marriage and a stable future. The kind of life I intend to live,” she defended herself with a complete lack of enthusiasm.

Marriage? He didn’t miss a beat. “You mean if I offered marriage, you would stay with me?”

“I know you cannot,” she said tiredly. “Your father would never approve. I am a French bastard of a notorious family, without a dowry. No English lord would want his only son to marry me.”

“I didn’t think marriage would be a factor with you,” he said, sounding uncertain as he was.

“Because of my family?”

“Yes, I suppose so. I just had not thought of it.” He paused and cleared his throat. “If you wish marriage, it could be arranged.” His voice was suddenly strong as he took the first step.

“What about your father?” she asked. “From what you said I thought all he cared about was family pride. A man like that would never sanction such a union.”

“What do I care what he thinks?” The words boiled up from the old wound. “I have not communicated with him since I left London. What I do with my life is my business. Marry me, Christiane. I would have asked you sooner if I thought it mattered.” He began to let himself hope.

She was dumbfounded by this revelation. He wished to marry her, not just form a liaison.

It was as though a blinding light illumined her heart. She would never love Henry like this. If she married Henry, it would be a marriage out of obligation, not joy. And before this realization, she could have married Henry but not now. She loved this man, this Englishman. This fact nearly stopped her heart. He was still the enemy. She took a deep breath. She turned and faced him. “There is more.”

He looked up at her.

Lowering her eyes, she took a deep breath. There would be no going back once she shared this, the heart of their difference. “We are in the middle of a war. In wars people take sides.”  Her blood throbbed at her temples. She waited breathlessly.

Finally he spoke, “This is a civil war, not really a revolution, as it is called. In a civil war, taking sides is especially painful since it is between brothers, as it were. But this war is not worldwide. There are many places where it would be merely a distant conflict.”

“I have turned my back on Europe for good.” She held her breath again.

“I was thinking more of Bermuda or Nassau.”

She was speechless. He was willing to take her in spite of their political differences. But could she turn her back on the cause she had suffered so much for? But did the cause of freedom depend on one woman? The lethargy she had felt since after dinner fled from her. She looked at him closely. He loved her. She could see it in his eyes. Could she leave everything behind for him? But she realized she had already made her decision by staying. If she had really wanted to, wouldn’t she already be at Valley Forge?

“There us one thing more I haven’t told you.” She paused. “Jean Claude and I had a son.”

“A son?”  He moved as if startled.

“Yes, I haven’t been able to provide for him very well.” She looked down at the floor. “He is in the care of an older couple in New Jersey. That is why I need a secure future. I want my son with me.” After the major’s sad experiences, would he welcome her child?

“You don’t think I would make a good stepfather.” He sounded hurt.

“It’s not that,” she assured him quickly. “I just didn’t think you would want a child, any child–after what you have been through.” She stepped to his side and knelt to touch his arm.

A series of emotions coursed through him. The main one was relief. She had finally revealed to him the reasons she had held him at bay. She desired marriage. She was a rebel. She had a young son she wanted to have with her. If only she had told him sooner. Didn’t she understand that the only reason he had bought his commission was to be away from England with its memories and his father? He had paid little attention to the causes of this conflict. And a son, after all those years of wanting a child, there would be one. “How old is he?”

“Just two.”

He looked down into her liquid brown eyes. “He would be most welcome in our home.”

“Oh, my darling,” she whispered, beginning to weep. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” A tide of warmth flowed through him, thawing him at last.

“No, you don’t understand. I have loved you all along. So many times in the last three years I have remembered you, even dreamed of you. I think I must have been a little in love with you even then.” She touched his cheek.

“I was a fool to have let you leave that day. But then I thought, well, now you know what I thought that I was unmanned. You were so lovely even then. And so special. I got quite drunk on your wedding night.”

She clutched his arm. “Are you in earnest then? We can go away with Jean Claude and make a life together. It won’t violate your conscience to leave?”

“No, it will not. What about your conscience?” he asked.

“I have already suffered enough. Besides my son needs me and I need you.”

“I have an important meeting at the end of the week. After it, I will resign my commission and we will be free to go. Five years in the wilderness and one year of combat is enough service for my king. My conscience is clear.”

“Oh, my dear.” She rested her head in his lap and he stroked her hair tenderly. “I can’t quite believe it. I fought it for so long.”

His heart beat in a regular cadence but so strongly, the rhythm echoed through him. “I fought it as hard or harder than you.”

“Why did we?”

“I can’t remember. I can’t think of anything unhappy now.” He stroked her wondrously soft face. So beautiful and now his.

“No more unhappiness for us?”

“I pledge myself to spend the rest of my life seeing to your happiness.” His voice was thick with emotion.

She took his other hand and laid her cheek on it. “I pledge the same, my love.”

He put his other hand on her cheek and turned her face to his. Leaning down, he kissed her softly on the lips. “My love, my bride, my Christiane.”

They lost themselves in each other’s eyes. The only sound was the logs crackling and disintegrating on the hearth. At last he stood and drew her gently to him. The clean smell of his shaving soap, the soft urgings of his lips, and the strength of his embrace made her weak with pleasure.

“You are mine now, all mine,” he whispered to her, fanning her ear with his breath. She gave him a dreamy smile in response, knowing that she would not sleep in her blankets by the fire this night or any other.
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